Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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