you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize