Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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