Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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