May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
