is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
