the day after is always just damage control
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
