I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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