is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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