sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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