of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
