he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
