dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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