love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
