dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
