she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
