it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
