We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
