how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
