Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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