is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize