Dual....:-)
Please, let me fuck your mom
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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