i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
