you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize