what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
