I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
