: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
