Umm I'm too high to move.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Let's paint friendship bongs
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize