38 yer olds are good kisserssss
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
