Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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