my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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