Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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