She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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