I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
