I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
barbara walters just said penis...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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