He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
