absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize