you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
