He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Someone shattered a urinal.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
