i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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