Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
