Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
