He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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