Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
