2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
