How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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