You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
