ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
