Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
