the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
