I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
