I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
