nut hugger
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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