Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
