Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
