thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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