jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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