I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
