so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
