JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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