You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
