both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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